When St. John the Beloved Disciple says, “God is love” (1 John 4:8), he makes it clear that the love he has in mind is “of God” (1 John 4:7). Not all that passes for love is of God, and not all that we humans take for God is love. St. John knows this. And he knows that the word love is often gravely misapplied to what is clearly not of God.
So let’s distinguish what I call “love” from the real thing—that is, love.
Many think that love is an emotion, a passion for this or that— “love” of one’s profession, for instance, or one’s passion for video games; for rock, jazz, gospel, or classical music; for cinema or theatre; for Greek or Italian or French cuisine. The various kinds of passion—of “love”—seem endless, limited only by the number of people existing in the world at any given time. We all “love” something or someone passionately, and often our “love” becomes an obsession. We become addicted to “love.” We might even become workaholics if we “love” our work. But the reality is that our passion for this or that distances us from love.
And yet our need for love is deeply instilled, as we are formed in God’s image, so that we might become God’s likeness. In fact, by virtue of the Incarnation, all human beings are potentially creatures of love, as God is love. And yet sometimes we really get things mixed up. We get turned around. We look for love in all the wrong places, or we seek first the world’s esteem. In our confusion, we are even prone to “love” other human beings and the world, and we expect those we “love”—or even the world we “love” so very much—to love us back. We forget that the world does not know love, for it does not know God. And the truth of the matter is, we Christians often forget ourselves.
We forget that “love” is not love. As Shakespeare puts it,
Love is not love / Which alters when alterations finds (Sonnet 116).
Love is unalterable, eternal, unconditional, and dispassionate, and what is often taken for love— that is, “love”— is not. “Love” can be spent. It can run out, it is changeable, and most usually it is conditional—and being so often the latter, it tends to come with a price tag.
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“Love of money is the root of all evil,” they say. But love has nothing to do with money. One cannot love money, and love is not currency to be exchanged. We do not buy love or demand like in return. For love “does not seek its own” (1 Corinthians 13:5). Love is selfless, free of passion, undemanding.
We humans are such strange creatures, both comical and tragic. Whenever we take “love” for love, there must be laughter and weeping in heaven. The saints and angels must laugh as they cry over us.
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Why is love so difficult? It shouldn’t be. For when we strive to love, the Holy Spirit comes to our aid. We are then enabled to love God, as “He first loved us” (1 John 4:19).
And yet to partake of God, of love, we must love others. This is important. We must live to give of ourselves dispassionately rather than look to receive; we must live to serve dispassionately rather than look to be served. Then, however the world turns, we shall stand free and firm on love—on Christ the Rock. We must look to our Incarnate God, learn from Him, be obedient and live in Him. And then, if we persist, we’ll become like Him. Then love will not only give meaning to our life—love will be our life. Then we shall live beyond the grave, eternally—in The Kingdom beginning here and now. And then, in God’s good time—as we Christians together strive to love others—the world will be turned around by our example. This is God’s promise and our dearest hope. It’s how the world turns back to God—through us.
It is more blessed to love, to impart love to others, than it is to receive (cf. Acts 20:35). This is not only the essence of The Gospel; it is the meaning of our life in Christ.
Fr. Paul Martin
Annunciation & St. Paraskevi Greek Orthodox Church
New Buffalo, MI